Thursday, August 14, 2008

Hell No!

It's not a term Zoe has used yet, but her enthusiasm with using the word "NO!" may as well be the same as "Hell No!" The kicking and screaming has begun and she is delighted with herself. I'm not sure that I am prepared for the third and final round of the terrible twos, but I take a deep breathe and remind myself that it is essential to laugh.....often.

Her favorite naughty things include:

Climbing on the kitchen table. This often includes something flying across the room. Typically I wouldn't worry about her climbing on the table, but we have a tall bar style table and I don't do well with blood. Plus, every time she stands proudly in the middle of the table, I think of her future and hope table dancing is excluded. My morbid imagination seems to take it a bit further because Tina Turner's hit "Private Dancer" plays over and over again in my brain. In fact, it's the only song I have in my head these days....ask Landon.

The infamous flailing of the arms and legs at the attempt to put Zoe in her car seat. I think every parent goes through this with their children. Today Zoe was insistent upon kicking me in the head repeatedly. Zoe thought this was quite funny between her screams of agony. Surprisingly, I had no reaction to being kicked. I was more focused on confining my little angel and shutting the van door as quickly as possible.

Coloring on walls. She is my first wall artist and she takes every opportunity she has to happily draw a mural of scribbles on the walls, doors, cupboards, fridge and whatever else is under 30 inches tall. At visits with our pediatrician he always drills us on keeping medications and cleaning products out of reach, but he fails to mention crayons, markers, pens, paints and all other art products. These are critical products to keep out of a toddlers reach. If all households in America had these items on the top shelf, I have no doubt that child abuse statistics would drop drastically.

It's not too often that I want to shake Zoe. The rare occasion that I do want to shake her, my self restraint kicks in. Instead I opt for timeouts. Zoe is quickly becoming familiar with this practice of punishment at which she sobs and tries to cling to my leg. The sobs of "Mommy, Mommy" don't typically make me pity her. They do make me wish for a time machine to fast forward through the next least the screaming parts. She also understands "spanking". It's not something I practice often, but just the word gets her attention and causes her to listen.

Zoe is still the sweetest little girl I know even though she is becoming known as Little Miss Independent. She is stubborn. Stubbornness is a horrible trait to have to deal with as a parent, but it will be a great attribute when she is in middle and high school. Her stubbornness along with her new age of independence keeps her repetition of the word "NO" so frequent that you'd think there was an echo.


"Q" Tips, "K"razy fun and daily "L"ife said...

Oh how i feel for you because I am experiencing many of the same things! I have two wall artists right now - they think it is hillarious. I hand them a washcloth and tell them to get a scrubbing. Usually uneffectively.. However i have found that baby oil actually gets alot of that stuff off the walls, as well as the mr. clean scrub pad things. Good luck to you, it gets better.

Brian and chelsea said...

Seriously, you are the most entertaining writer. This was so fun and FUNNY to read! I love it! Zoe - what a character. This was actually very helpful - it lets me know what I might have to look forward to with Brianna!

Heather said...

That was great. Isn't it awesome when you can read something about someone else's child and smile because it isn't yours? :) At least though it is just terrible twos. My "terribles" haven't ended and he is already four!

Kamille said...

So funny. It looks like you are getting the blogging thing down. Love your background. your pics are darling. (yes darling). Not surprised that you're amazing at it.

Kamille said...

Okay - I think you are flunking in the blog at least once a month category. I may have to call you on the phone. Do people do that anymoe?

Kamille said...

Don't you have a lot of smut to blog about?